TERASMEG INFORMATIONAL SYSTEMS

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH, 30th December 1999

FRONT PAGE IN BUSINESS!!

"TeraSmeg Floats on Stock Market"
Yesterday TeraSmeg quadrupled in value to £159billion after its shares increased without end. The company's interests in technology and cutting edge mob tactics seem to work. The Managing Director, Andrew Burgess, seemed to be pleased with the result. "Yes, I believe that this company has excelled itself into everybody's home in the world. Satellite technology allows us to pinpoint anyone's place at any point in time. You are not safe." He has expressed concern over his satellite, and offers the world a an offer they can't refuse - "If you want, you can buy the latest jamming box from my website, at a cost of just £9,999.99! It's a small price to pay for privacy!"

Critics are, however, annoyed about the lack of privacy that people have, and this satellite only makes things worse. To which Mr. Burgess replied, "Well, The governments been spying on our f****** k***s for years now, I just wanted to return it to those b******s in Office, see how THEY like it."

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Last modified: March 26, 2000