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THE SUN, 17th March 2000
Front Page Headlines!!
"3 EXECUTED IN MOB ATTACK"
Yesterday night a gunman, with a Norman Lamont plastic face, broke into 13a West London street, and
shot up the place. The casualties were 19 year old Kevin "Holy
Ghost" Hartley, Jim "The Nailman" Saunders and Martin
"Bet Your Bottom" Beackley, both 18. When the police had arrived, they
found three execution-styled totaled bodies. Teeth analysts confirmed their
identity. After extreme forensic examinations, together with a Polaroid of
the gunman and the dead bodies, they are questioning over three million people
in connection with the Norman Lamont Killer. Some believe that they had been
executed for not repaying the money that they owed to TeraSmeg Informational
Systems. A TeraSmeg spokesman, Andrew Burgess, said, "We have no idea
what you're on about. As far as I know, I - I mean we, didn't shoot up the
place or execute those kids. They shouldn't be messing around with that s**t
anyway. That will be all gentlemen, thank you." We have two of our best
reporters sleeping outside his 5-bedroomed house at the moment, ready to spring
into action if anything happens. |